“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” Psalm 13:1-2
I think it’s safe to say that if you’re alive and breathing, there are things happening in your life right now, in the world around you, or looking back into your past that you just can’t make sense of.
My Bible study group has been working through the book of Psalms this year. We are coming up on the Psalms of Lament, and I am reminded that we are not alone in our why’s. The psalmists, the prophets, the disciples, and even Jesus himself were no strangers to the real, raw, soul-deep cry: “Why, God?”
I’ve had some “Why, God?” moments. I know you have, too.
If God is truly all-powerful, and if he really is good, why, oh why, would he allow these devastating things?
Strangely enough, I didn’t used to struggle much with the question of why. Not only because I’ve lived in privilege and been spared major tragedies thus far, but because I’ve always been a meaning-finder. As someone who can see virtually any situation from multiple angles, it’s been easy for me to find the good in just about anything. If I couldn’t see clearly what God was doing in a given situation, I could at least imagine several possibilities of what he might be up to. So I did. I believed God’s promise that he would work all things for the good of those who love him, and I loved making guesses about how he might accomplish it! That kind of faith brought me joy, and peace. At least I thought it did.
Eventually, more life happened, and I learned that some things are too much to make sense out of. I realized that speculation and optimism are not the same thing as faith. I was confronted with the truth that my imaginative, rose-colored approach might even give way to apathy, insensitivity, and complicit acceptance of things that should be changed. I finally had to admit I didn’t have all the answers, and lay down all my “because’s” on the altar.
“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” Isaiah 55:8-9
This chiropractic adjustment to my faith was jarring, but eventually I began to get more comfortable with “I don’t know.” Sore and disoriented, I slowly figured out how to stop trusting in my own faith, while still holding onto it. I’m still learning. Some days it feels like I know nothing anymore, but then I remind myself that wisdom often starts there— if we then place ourselves under the right Teacher. I had to relearn how to listen to what God actually says, and refrain from running away with it. It’s been painfully humbling.
To my surprise, it was in that place of laying down my “why’s” that God unexpectedly offered me some of his own.
One day, as I was reading in the New Testament, I noticed two words that seemed to jump out at me. “So that…”
I can’t even remember now which verse it was, because these two little words soon began leaping off every page…
“…so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.”
“…so that you may know the hope to which he has called you.”
“…so that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
“…so that you may become blameless and pure.”
“…so that your words may benefit those who listen.”
“…so that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
“…so that no one may boast.”
“…so that you may have something to share with those in need.”
“…so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
“…so that you may be able to stand your ground.”
“…so that you may know the Father better.”
“…so that you may know the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.”
“…so that it will be even more fruitful.”
“…so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
To a girl who just let go of all her reasons, “so that” sounded suspiciously like reasons…
And the words that followed after were incredible! Certainly more solid than any “because” I had tried to craft myself. Here was God himself telling us clearly all across the pages of Scripture some of what he’s doing, and why! Did you know he wants all these good things for us??
I tore through the New Testament searching for every “so that” I could find. I didn’t think I’d find many in the Old Testament, but I was wrong. By the time I got through Deuteronomy, I had found more than 70 “so that’s”! And they floored me…
“…so that they may rule…”
“…so that they may worship me.”
“…so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”
“…so that your ox and your donkey may rest, and so that the slave and the foreigner living among you may be refreshed.”
“…so that my wonders may be multiplied in Egypt.”
“…so that they could travel by day or night.”
“…so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground.”
“…so that they will not die.” (repeated)
“…so that they will be acceptable to the Lord.”
“…so that they will not incur guilt.”
“…so that I might dwell among them.”
“…so that the glory of the Lord may appear to you.”
“…so that you can distinguish between the holy and the common, the clean and the unclean.”
“…so that no wickedness will be among you.”
“…so that you would no longer be slaves.”
“…so that they may live and not die when they come near the most holy things.”
“…so that they may be ready to do the work of the Lord.”
“…so that you will not have to carry the burden alone.”
“…so that you may live and may go in and take possession of the land the Lord is giving you.”
“…so that the land where I am bringing you to live may not vomit you out.”
“…so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live.”
“…so that you do not become corrupt and make for yourselves an idol of any kind.”
“…so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”
“…so that you might know that the Lord is God.” (repeated)
“…so that it might go well with them and their children forever.” (repeated)
“…so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land you will possess.” (repeated).
“…so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey.”
“…so that you may gather your grain, new wine, and olive oil.”
“…so that you will live in safety.”
“…so that you may have the strength to go in and take the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.”
“…so that those who have no allotment or inheritance of their own may come and eat and be satisfied.”
“…so that his fellow soldiers will not become disheartened.”
“…so that you may not be guilty of bloodshed.”
“…so that a man’s name will not be blotted out from Israel.”
“…so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.” (repeated)
“…so that you may love him with all your soul, and live.”
Astounding. Even under the old covenant, God was not just telling his people what he wanted from them. He was telling them, all along, what he wanted for them!
The list is not exhaustive, for Old Testament or New, especially if you consider variations of the phrase (“because,” “then,” “in order that”). It also doesn’t examine the antecedent to each, and it’s important for us to do so. Some of these “so that’s” are, in fact, direct explanations for why God allowed certain things to happen to his people. Many more of them, however, are desired outcomes contingent on obedience to specific commands. Sometimes God’s “so that” is not a call to acceptance but a call to act.
Still, all point to the truth that God desires good for his people. That we would have what we need. That we would be safe and blessed, even if he sometimes has to sacrifice our earthly safety and happiness (letting us hurt…letting us stumble…letting us break…) if it might help secure our spiritual safety and happiness. You know, the kind that will last forever.
“Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless until the time of the end, for it will still come at the appointed time.” Daniel 11:35
Even after I finish searching the remaining 34 books of the Bible for “so that’s,” I still won’t be able to answer the question of why God allows what he does in your life, or in mine.
What I can say with confidence, though, after hearing it straight from his own word, is that God loves us. He desires LIFE for us! And that life comes through knowing him, listening to his wisdom (not our own), and turning from whatever would threaten our connection to him. With his help, we can do that, whatever may come, so that we may love him with all our soul, and live.
“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:19-24